Shawn Carter was born December 4th
Weighing in at 10 pounds 8 ounces, he was the last of my 4 children
The only one who didn`t give me any pain when I gave birth to him
And that`s how I knew that he was a special child

"Hi baby, what`s wrong?
You look like, you`ve lost your best friend
Tell me, is it something that I`ve done again?
You look like, you`ve lost your best friend tell me"

They say, "They never really miss you till you dead or you gone"
So on that note I`m leaving after the song
So you ain`t gotta feel no way about Jay so long
At least let me tell you why I`m this way, hold on

I was conceived by Gloria Carter and Adaness Revees
Who made love under the siccamore tree which makes me
A more sicker emcee than my momma would claim
At 10 pounds when I was born I didn`t give her no pain

Although through the years I gave her her fair share
I gave her her first real scare I made it from birth and I got here
She knows my purpose wasn`t purpose I ain`t perfect I care
But I feel worthless `cause my shirts wasn`t matchin` my gear

Now I`m just scratchin` the surface `cause what`s buried under there
Was a kid torn apart once his pop disappeared
I went to school got good grades could behave when I wanted
But I had demons deep inside that would raise when confronted, hold on

Shawn was a very shy child growing up
He was into sports and a funny story is
At 4 he taught his self how to ride a bike
A two wheeler at that isn`t that special?
But, I noticed a change in him when me and my husband broke up

Now all the teachers couldn`t reach me
And my momma couldn`t beat me
Hard enough to match the pain of my pop not seeing me, so
With that distain in my membrane

Got on my pimp game
F**k the world my defense came
Then Dahaven introduced me to the game
Spanish Jose introduced me to cane, I`m a hustler now

My gear is in and I`m in the in crowd
And all the wavy light skinned girls is lovin` me now
My self esteem went through the roof man I got my swag
Got a vocal from this girl when her man got bagged

Plus I hit my momma with cash from a show that I had
Supposedly knowin` nobody paid Jaz wack ass
I`m getting ahead of myself, by the way, I could rap
That came second to me movin` this crack

Gimme a second I swear
I will say about my rap career
Till 96 came ni**as I`m here
Good-bye

Shawn use to be in the kitchen
Beating on the table and rapping
And um, until the wee hours of the morning
And then I bought him a boom box
And his sisters and brothers said that he would drive them nuts
But that was my way to keep him close to me and out of trouble

Good-bye to the game all the spoils, the adrenaline rush
Your blood boils you in a spot knowing cops could rush
And you in a drop your so easy to touch no two days are alike
Except the first and fifteenth pretty much

And trust is a word you seldom hear from us
Hustlers we don`t sleep we rest one eye up
And a drought can define a man, when the well dries up
You learn to work the water without workin`, of thirst you`ll die yup

And ni**as get tied up for product
And little brothers ring fingers get cut up
To show mothers they really got `em
And this was the stress I live with till I decided

To try this rap s**t for a livin`, I pray I`m forgiven
For every bad decision I made every sister I played
`Cause I`m still paranoid to this day
And it`s nobody fault I made the decisions I made
This is the life I chose or rather the life that chose me

If you can`t respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you`ll love me when I fade to black
If you can`t respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you`ll love me when I fade to black

Now if you can`t respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you`ll love me when I fade to black
If you can`t respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you`ll love me when I fade to black